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Cindy Sondheim: A rooster? In New York City?Ĭindy Sondheim: We can go to bed, maybe get in a little 'quickie'. Count Dracula: Now you do.Ĭount Dracula: I heard a rooster crow. Jeffery Rosenberg: Huh? Ah shit! It's the other one, isn't it?Ĭindy Sondheim: Very cute! I told you I have got a man in here. Jeffery Rosenberg: Well, Count, what do you say to that? Count Dracula: I would say, leave Cindy alone and find yourself a nice Jewish girl, Doctor! Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg: Another fly by night character.ĭr. Jeffery Rosenberg: Where is he? Cindy Sondheim: He'll be here. Jeffery Rosenberg: Dracula! Cindy Soundheim: How did you know his name?ĭr. Jeffery Rosenberg: No! It can't be! Cindy Soundheim: What, Jeffrey? Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg: No! Cindy Soundheim: What? Dr. Count Dracula: Fun? How would you like to go around looking like a head waiter for 700 years?Ĭindy Sondheim: Can I get you anything? Count Dracula: A broom, perhaps? Cindy Sondheim: Eh? Oh, I hate housework. Cindy's Modeling Agent: Or what? You'll eat your lunch in my office? Renfield: No-o-o, my lunch will eat you. Renfield: You have 30 seconds to tell me where Miss Sondheim is, or. Count Dracula: This is not the lobby of the Plaza Hotel? And ain't no way, no how, nobody's going to bring you back here once you is dead! Count Dracula: Good Evening. Because, brothers and sisters, when you is gone, you is gone. Reverend Mike: I showed him how God wanted him to have a swell time while he was alive. I know, because he left it to me, Hallelujah! : Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! etc. Reverend Mike: But must of all, he loved his Cadillac Saville, and it's a beaute. : Yeah! And my wife, too! Yes, he did! Sure did! etc. Reverend Mike: He loved his booze, hahahaha. and he was a swinger! : Yes! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Alleluia! etc. Oh, why don't you bring a nice juicy mouse for little Salome here? Renfield: Could I have one, too? and kicking? Lady on plane with Cat: I'll have the Chicken Kiev, miss. I bit your mother,, and your grandmother.Īir Stewardess: Pardon me, would you like Chicken Kiev Chateaubriand or Veal Cutlet Florentine for lunch? Renfield: Everything you mentioned is dead. What's a toilet?Īlexei Rugalov: You dirty bat! You bit my mother! Count Dracula: What is your name? Rugalov: Alexei. Renfield: Yes, master? Count Dracula: What is an efficiency apartment? Renfield: I don't know, master. By Romanian law, that makes it ours.Ĭommissare Woman: Either you spend the rest of your life in an efficiency apartment with seven dissidents and one toilet, or you gather your aristocratic shit together and split. cockroach-eating friend over there, have 48 hours to get out! Good evening, Comrade Count! Count Dracula: Wait one minute.
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Count Dracula: How do you know? Renfield: They're wearing shoes.Ĭommissare Woman: You, and your. Renfield: I think they're from the government. Renfield: Master, please be careful! Count Dracula: What is it? Renfield: You nearly stepped on my dinner! Count Dracula: Forgive me.
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